The Struggles of Life and How I Get Through Them

So...it's been awhile since I posted, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I wanted to make a post of it.

I looked through my life and checked out the struggles I have with everyday things. This is just a list of what I can think of right now that I have struggles with.

• Alcoholic dad
• Asthma
• Stupid decisions (everyone has them, but they're still in the list)
• Certain friends and their problems (I always try to help others first)

And there are others, but these are the things that I can think of right now. My 'philosophy' of this is that, God gave me these struggles in order to make me stronger.

I think of quotes a lot to make. I hope one day, it can become famous (just like I hope I can be a well known author). One that I've been taking a liking to lately is; 'Life is hard and rough, but make it worthy, make it something you would WANT to live over and over again.'

This quote I've shared with others and my family alike. I'm going to go through the list and tell you how I struggle with it.

Alcoholic Dad: My dad will drink constantly all day long, so by the time I get home (which is usually later than earlier) he is either really drunk, or he is passed out. I always tend to enjoy the latter. But when he is drunk, we get into large fights or small arguments. He no longer comes to track meets, band concerts, or anything else but academics. I confronted him about it. We argued and he stood up from the couch and came towards me. I took two steps back and I was against a rocking chair, making me 'cornered'. I told him not to come near me. He told me to go to my room. I'm sixteen...I'm not eight. The second time I confronted him about the same thing, was much calmer, but still hurt the same. My 82-year-old grandpa with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and scoliosis and is getting into worse shape every day. He makes it to everything of mine. It's hard to understand why he can make it, but not my dad. I still can't understand...

Asthma: It started as exercise induced, but I believe it progressed. It gets worse when I cry hard, it gets back when I walk out the door and the humidity hits me... I can't run long-distance anymore because my lungs can't handle it. I have to drop out of band drills when I don't want to because I can't take it any longer. It isn't much of a crutch, but it's hard to work out to get better for high jump and it's hard to sprint as much as everyone else on conditioning days for track.

Stupid Decisions: Yeah, like I said earlier, everyone has them, and it's okay. I have caused people pain from mine. My boyfriend, actually. My dumb decisions (that I will NOT share here) have caused me to almost lose him three or four times. Why he is still with me, I don't understand...but he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love him so much. I've changed my life around just by stating that I'm going to and so far it's worked. We're both kind of cranky lately, but that's because we haven't seen much of each other. He has golf (which goes until six) and I have track (which goes until 4:30). Wednesdays, he is getting help for his ACT to raise his score one point (and I'm proud of him for it). Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have meets. Monday, he has a tournament. Weekends are our only shot, and it's hard sometimes when I can't make it because of gas and he can't make it for the same reason. He's stuck by my side and I'm going to stop making those stupid decisions in order to keep him by my side and I, his.

Friends' Problems: Most people turn to their friends and say 'that's not my problem, solve it yourself'. I'm an advice giver, so naturally, they turn to me for help. The difference between most people and me, is that I don't care. I try to help everybody, because I feel they're more important. Sometimes, when they talk about a problem, I talk about a similar experience and I feel like I'm trying to turn the attention on me, but I'm not! I've talked a friend out of suicide...I calmed down a bipolar kid two nights ago (with the help of another friend). I struggle with their problems when I'm in my own but I always try to put mine aside for a just a moment, because they're seeking out MY help, which means MY problem is always there for later.

This post isn't meant for you to sympathize or for me to sit on a pity pot and cry about my life. I love my life the way it is and I don't want anything to change that.

This post is meant to show you that YOU can make it through your struggles as well. I may not have the worst of struggles like some people out there, but to me, this is big. For those of you who have bigger problems, you can make it! Don't dwell on your problems when you have the whole world in front of you. The world won't always be in front of you. Eventually, you'll be up in God's land. Paradise, Utopia, whatever you want to call it, is waiting for you. The world won't always be there. Explore it while you can.

I sign my name with Ephesians 6:11 because I live life by it. It's my favorite quote and I'm pretty sure Ephesians is my favorite book. 'Put on the armor of God, so that you may stand firm against the tactics of the devil.' I signed several of my TEC family's Bibles with this quote. I wish I could share it with everyone who is having problems. The kids that you hear get bullied and kill themselves because of it...the kids with abusive parents...all those people. Most of them don't know that God is there. A lot of them eventually quit believe in God. 'A Child Called It', as bad as it sounds, is one o the best books I've ever read, because in the end, he still believed in God. Believing in God got him through it. I wish everyone would see life this way...I believe everyone needs to read that book, no matter how horrifying it is.

Like I said, this wasn't meant for some people to feel pity for me, I don't want that. I'd hate that. I just want everyone to know, that no matter how rough life can be, you can still make it through.

Colleen

Ephesians 6:11